I would also add that Stepdad finally got an Asperger’s diagnosis in his 50s. And it is totally possible to act like a passive-aggressive jerk a lot on top of having some very real difficulties. Hell of a coping strategy, especially for the people who live with you, but there you go.

My mom apparently liked jerky autistic men, having married two who had different styles with it. :-| Both involving blaming other people for the difficulties they kept running into. Ugh.

The experience growing up with a bunch of passive aggression there makes me still get more worked up sometimes now, but yeah. It also helps me be surer that my partner doesn’t seem to be jerking me around in the same ways. Not that living with somebody else with daily living skills that are worse than my own in some ways is always fun, even with his generally being pleasant.

(Yeah, I actually started looking into it originally not long after moving in here, because Mr. C reminded me a lot of Stepdad in some ways minus the overlay of jerkiness. Which autocorrect amusingly wants to turn into “jerk in Essex”. Then I saw a lot of things in common, just handled kind of differently…)


Cool. Mr. C didn’t mind getting takeout, and is also stopping to pick up more tonic water. Kind of an acquired taste, but it does seem to be helping with the leg cramps again. I wish those had not started up.

But yeah, this is still one of the kinds of things that baffle me some. Very pleasant about spoons limitations and trying to help with that…without really seeming to make the connection that if he would deal with some things he’s supposed to be doing anyway, like wrangling that damned garbage, the other stuff wouldn’t be nearly as necessary. 0_o

It’s really fucking weird, and I’m 99.9% sure that it’s not malicious or passive aggressive or anything. I grew up with a stepdad who passive aggressively wouldn’t do stuff all the time, and it’s not like that. I assumed it might be at first, but not so much.

I also need to clean up after the dog outside, because I just can’t stand it anymore. Two things that require bending and hurt my back.

May have to call it Takeaway Night again, because spoons. Plus if he can’t take care of some basic things, he can at least make sure there’s food without more pain after I have to do them. :/

I have been trying to wait my partner out on some trash in the kitchen. That is a fool’s game. :-|

So our cat has a diagnosis, and things are now even more confusing. ›


The biopsy results for our cat came back in. (Previous posts about the situation: Here and here.) My housemate had to call the vet on Friday evening because we hadn’t heard anything from them in four days. It turned out they’d had three different doctors go over the lymph…

Outside the lab, Piff found that the rich donated a smaller percentage of their wealth than poorer people. In 2011, the wealthiest Americans, those with earnings in the top 20%, contributed 1.3% of their income to charity, while those in the bottom 20% donated 3.2% of their income. The trend to meanness was worst in plush suburbs where everyone had a high income, and never laid eyes on a poor person. Insulation from people in need, Piff concluded, dampened charitable impulses. Poorer people were also more likely to give to those charities servicing the genuinely needy. The rich gave to high-status institutions such as already well-endowed art galleries, museums and universities, while Feeding America, which deals with the nation’s poorest, got nothing.

'The A**hole Effect': What Wealth Does to the Brain | Alternet (via b-binaohan)

This is what I mean when I say most poor people — at least those who know what it is to be hungry — will share their last can of beans with you if you’re starving, but so many middle-class and rich people won’t give you anything from their full cupboards, always finding excuses.  Also, I’ve talked to delivery people and they say the people in my low-income housing project tip better than the rich people up the hill from us.  This is a thing.

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Photographer: Jim Pastore
Summary Authors: Jim Pastore; Jim Foster

The photo above showing a desert monsoon thunderstorm pushing off to the east of Catalina, Arizona was taken on the evening of August 5, 2012. A jagged cloud-to-ground lightning bolt dominates the scene while the gentle arc of a rainbow adds colorful accents. It’s not the shield of rain and dust that paint this rainbow bow in shades of red, orange and yellow but rather the fact that the bow formed close to sunset. Longer path lengths of sunlight when the Sun lies near or below the horizon are responsible for reddening sunsets and rainbows alike. Note that rainbows only occur opposite the Sun (antisolar point) — directly behind the camera.”

More at Earth Science Photo of the Day

H/T SciNerds

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Little Brown Bat (Myotis lucifugus) flying over a pond. by Bill Kraus Snapshots on Flickr.

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