I would also add that Stepdad finally got an Asperger’s diagnosis in his 50s. And it is totally possible to act like a passive-aggressive jerk a lot on top of having some very real difficulties. Hell of a coping strategy, especially for the people who live with you, but there you go.
My mom apparently liked jerky autistic men, having married two who had different styles with it. :-| Both involving blaming other people for the difficulties they kept running into. Ugh.
The experience growing up with a bunch of passive aggression there makes me still get more worked up sometimes now, but yeah. It also helps me be surer that my partner doesn’t seem to be jerking me around in the same ways. Not that living with somebody else with daily living skills that are worse than my own in some ways is always fun, even with his generally being pleasant.
(Yeah, I actually started looking into it originally not long after moving in here, because Mr. C reminded me a lot of Stepdad in some ways minus the overlay of jerkiness. Which autocorrect amusingly wants to turn into “jerk in Essex”. Then I saw a lot of things in common, just handled kind of differently…)